A. B. Earle's Testimony of the Exchanged Life

In 1869, A.B. Earle published a book called Bringing in Sheaves. The entire book is available online at:

http://wesley.nnu.edu/wesleyctr/books/0601-0700/HDM0636.PDF

In the final chapter, "The Rest of Faith," he gives the following testimony of his own experience:

"About ten years ago, I began to feel an inexpressible hungering and longing for the fullness of Christ's love. I had often had seasons of great joy and peace in Christ, and in his service. I had seen many precious souls brought into the fold of Christ. I fully believe I then belonged to Christ--that my name was in his family record.

"I loved the work of the ministry, but had long felt an inward unrest, a void in my soul that was not filled. Seasons of great joy would be followed by seasons of darkness and doubt. If I had peace, I feared it would not continue, and it did not.

"Many anxious Christians came to me, complaining of the same thing. How could I help them on that point, when I did not know how to get right myself? I took them to the seventh chapter of Romans, and there left them, saying, 'O, wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?' I was there myself, and supposed I must live and die there.

"In this state I was exposed to severe temptations and attacks of the enemy. I made strong and repeated resolutions that I would be faithful, but could not keep them. Then I sought and found forgiveness again, and was happy, and said, 'O, that I could always enjoy such peace!' But it was soon disturbed by some word, or act, or heart wandering.

"Thus I lived on for many years: now happy in my Christian experience, and now unhappy; sometimes doubting and fearing, and sometimes resting. God gave me success in winning souls, and granted me many hours of sweet communion with my Savior, for which I am truly grateful; still I was unsatisfied--I wanted an uninterrupted rest and peace.

"I often read those precious words, uttered by our Savior, 'If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you.' I longed and prayed to be there, but knew not the way. O, that some one had then taught me the way of rest in Jesus!

"At last I felt that the question for me to settle was this: can an imperfect Christian sweetly and constantly rest in a perfect Savior, without condemnation?

"This I revolved in my mind for a long time. I read, as far as I could, the experiences of those who seemed to live nearest to Christ. I searched the Scriptures for light, and asked such as I believed had power with God, to pray with and for me, that I might be led aright on this great question. At length I became satisfied that Christ had made provision for me and all his children to abide in the fullness of his love without one moment's interruption.

"Having settled this, I said: I need this; I long for it; I cannot truly represent religion without it, and Christ is dishonored by me every day I live without it.

"I, therefore, deliberately resolved, by the help of my Redeemer, to obtain it at any sacrifice; little realizing how unlike Christ I then was, or how much would be needed to bring me there.

"I first procured a blank book, which I called my 'Consecration Book,' and slowly and solemnly, on my knees, wrote in it the following dedication: 'Andover, February 10, 1859.'

"'This day I make a new consecration of my all to Christ.

"'Jesus, I now and forever give myself to thee; my soul to be washed in thy blood and saved in heaven at last; my whole body to be used for thy glory; my mouth to speak for thee at all times; my eyes to weep over lost sinners, or to be used for any purpose for thy glory; my feet to carry me where thou shalt wish me to go; my heart to be burdened for souls, or used for thee anywhere; my intellect to be employed at all times for thy cause and glory. I give to thee my wife, my children,
my property, all I have, and all that ever shall be mine. I will obey thee in every known duty. -- A. B. E.'

"I then asked for grace to enable me to carry out that vow, and that I might take nothing from the altar. I supposed, with this consecration, entire as far as knowledge went, I should soon receive all that my longing heart could contain; but in this I was sadly mistaken. I think I then came nearer to Christ. But as clearer light began to shine into my heart, I saw more of its vileness.

"I find in my journal the following:

"'Boston, December 22, 1859

"'The last three weeks have been weeks of great searching of heart. I never had my heart so searched before. I detect pride, envy, self-will, a great deal of unbelief, my love to the Savior to be very weak. Yet I have consecrated all to Christ, and cannot withdraw it from the altar. O, can a worm so vile be like Christ? I know it is possible; and if I am ever to be like him, why not now, while I am where I can do good in leading others to him?'

"I felt like a patient who, though in the hands of a skillful physician, groans and writhes under the severe treatment which has been found necessary in order to save his life. But my constant prayer was, 'Be thorough with me, Jesus; be thorough.' Many a discouraging day followed this consecration and these heart-searchings. I grew weak, and small, and unworthy, in my own estimation.

"At times my joy and peace were almost unbounded. Sometimes I felt that I grasped the prize so earnestly sought, but was shown some hidden sin in my heart which greatly humbled and distressed me. How fully I realized the words of J. B. Taylor, who said, while seeking this blessing, 'Notwithstanding my profession that I had crucified the world, the flesh, and the devil, I have had keener sorrows for indwelling sin than I ever experienced before conversion. O, the distress which I have felt on account of pride, envy, love of the world, and other evil passions which have risen up and disturbed my peace, and separated between God and my soul!' How many have realized all this, and even more, in their struggles after abiding rest in Jesus.

"One sin that troubled me most, and was the hardest to overcome, was a strong will, a desire, and almost a determination, to have my own way; and thus, even in regard to little things, or any little injury or supposed wrong to speak without reflection, and sometimes severely, even to those I knew were my friends; to say, 'I will do this,' and 'I will not do that.'

"This I clearly saw must be overcome, if I would become a consistent and useful Christian. As I could not do it myself, I gave it over to Jesus: he could give me grace to overcome even this. But I found I gave nothing into the hands of Jesus, except by a simple faith. My faith was very deficient and weak: to believe the promises fully was not so easy. I believed the theory of religion, but to have my heart grasp the reality, without wavering, was more difficult. Yet I found my faith growing stronger until at last I came to believe just what God has said in his word. I found first the blade of faith, then the ear, and then the full corn in the ear. No rest could be obtained until I could believe just what God had said, and trust him fully.

"I felt that I must have in my heart something I did not then possess. Before I could be filled with the fullness of Christ's love I must be emptied of self. O, the longing of my heart for what I then believed, and now believe, to be sweet and constant rest in Jesus! I believed I should receive it, and thought it was near.

"I soon found it easier to resist temptation. I began to trust Christ and his promises more fully.

"With this mingling of faith, desire, and expectation, I commenced a meeting on Cape Cod. After re-dedicating myself, in company with others, anew to God, I was in my room alone, pleading for the fullness of Christ's love, when all at once a sweet, heavenly peace filled all the vacuum in my soul, leaving no longing, no unrest, no dissatisfied feeling in my bosom. I felt, I knew that I was accepted fully of Jesus. A calm, simple, childlike trust took possession of my whole being. I felt that if I had a thousand hearts and lives, I would give them all to the Savior; my grateful love to him found expression in those glowing lines, --

"'O, for a thousand tongues to sing
My dear Redeemer's praise;
The glories of my God and King,
The triumphs of his grace!'

"Then, for the first time in my life, I had that rest which is more than peace. I had felt peace before, but feared I should not retain it; now I had peace without fear, which really became rest.

"That night I retired to sleep without one fear, much like a tired babe resting in its mother's arms. I believed Jesus had received me, and would keep me. I had no fear of losing that happy state; the fear which had so disturbed my rest was taken away. I seemed in a new world; my burden was gone, my cup was full, and Jesus was present with me. I felt not only that I was forgiven and cleansed, but that Jesus would hereafter keep me; that I should not have to help him keep me, as I had been vainly trying to do, but could trust it all to him; that now I had two hands instead of one to work with. I was a Christian before. I loved Christ, and his people, and his cause; yet did not, could not, trust myself without fear in his hands. But now I seemed all at once to lose a great burden of care and anxiety.

"I found that much of my care had been not only useless, but a hindrance to my success, rendering my work in Christ's cause much harder and less pleasant to myself. I had been like the traveler with a heavy burden on his back, who, when invited by a friend to ride in his carriage and rest himself, took his seat with his burden still weighing him down. When asked to lay his burden off while riding, and rest, he replied, 'O, sir, you have been so kind to let me ride, I will carry my burden myself.' I had not learned to lay my burden on Jesus while toiling in his vineyard, which would have rendered my work comparatively light and easy.

"The Bible seemed like a new book. I had, as it were, read with a veil before my eyes. All through the week I labored on without fear of losing the long sought, and now so highly prized, blessing. I believed, in the hour of temptation, Christ would keep me, and I should not lose that happy state.

"This change occurred about five o'clock on the evening of the second day of November, 1863; and although I never felt so weak and small, yet Jesus has been my all since then. There has not been one hour of conscious doubt or darkness since that time. A heaven of peace and rest fills my soul. Day and night the Savior seems by me. Preaching is a luxury, it is a glorious work. In prayer Christ does not seem far away, but near and with me. The Bible still appears like a new book. All Christians are dearer to me than ever before. All earthly ties are more precious to me; home, friends, all blessings, temporal or spiritual, are dearer and brighter than ever before. That terrible fear and torment about death is in a great measure gone. Thought is quickened. My views of truth are much clearer than before. I have come to believe just what God says. I can trust him, and go forward, even 'with sealed orders.'

"My success in leading souls to Jesus has been much greater than before. My joy in telling the world of Christ and his goodness constantly increases. And as I realize more and more the greatness of his love, and the perfection of his character, my swelling heart often cries out,

"'O, could I speak the matchless worth,
O, could I sound the glories forth,
Which in my Savior shine!'

"O, that I had an angel's tongue, or could in some way express to others the love I bear to Jesus!

"'I'd sing the characters he bears,
And all the forms of love he wears,
Exalted on his throne.'

"I feel very imperfect and weak, yet I am enabled to believe and trust Jesus; and he is so near that I have realized, in several instances of little inconsistencies, that before the dark wave reached my soul to produce condemnation, Jesus said, 'Peace, be still.'

"Temptation is presented, but the power of it is broken. I seem to have a present Savior in every time of need; so that for several years I have done the trusting and Jesus the keeping; it is much easier now to resist temptation than it was before.

"I feared the crosses would be much heavier if I was nearer Jesus; but they are much lighter now so that I can sum it all up in a few words, and call it -- the rest of faith, -- a calm, sweet resting all with Christ. This state of heart is reached only by faith, and retained only by faith--not by helping Christ take care of us, but by trusting him to do it all.

"Does any one ask how an imperfect Christian can rest in a perfect Savior, and feel no condemnation?

"I answer, It is by Christ's meeting all the demands of the law for us, in such a way that the soul realizes no condemnation.

"Suppose you had a great many debts coming due every day--a constant source of grief and pain because you were unable to meet the demands, though they were just. After a long season of distress and worrying, a kind, rich friend says to you, 'I know all about your indebtedness, and your inability to meet it, but if you will come to my house and trust all to me, I promise you undisturbed rest as long as you choose to remain with me; no one shall trouble you.' You fully believe and trust him, and go to his home. A short time after reaching his home, you hear his bell ring. He goes to the door. Some one inquires if you are in the house; your friend replies that you are, and asks what is wanted. The creditor at the door says, 'I have a bill of fifty dollars I would like to have him settle.' The bill is promptly paid by your friend, without disturbing you. Thus your rich friend continues to meet all just demands brought against you during your stay with him. He knew, before he made the offer, just what he was undertaking to do, and that he had all needed means to do with.

"Do you not see how you could rest, and yet know that your rich friend was daily meeting demands that you were entirely unable to pay, while his means were unbounded?

"This rich, precious friend is Jesus, who said to me long ago, when I was worrying over my inability to keep myself, or atone for one sin, 'Come unto me, and I will give you rest.' 'All power in heaven and in earth is given into my hands.' 'I came into this world to help just such sinners as you are.' But I did not, and seemingly could not, believe it, and continued to worry. But, at last, I was enabled to believe just what Jesus said, and trust him entirely, and at once he gave me rest, not fear--not torment, -- but sweet, constant, abiding rest.

"Thus, while I believe and trust Christ entirely, nothing wavering, he gives me rest--not Jesus and my faithfulness, but Jesus alone, gives me rest. So that Christ is made, at this very point, to those who trust all to him, wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption. Christ meets at first, and all along the way, the demands of the law against us, on the simple condition that we fully believe, and trust all to him.

"In this way, an imperfect Christian can, by a firm, unwavering faith, rest in a perfect Savior without condemnation. 'There is, therefore, now no condemnation to them who are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.' In this way unwavering faith is counted (as it was to Abraham) for perfect satisfaction for every claim the perfect law of God brings against the soul. So that we are saved from eternal death by faith, and saved now from fear and condemnation by faith; and those who thus believe do (not shall) enter into rest.

"The difference between his experience before and after this rest in Jesus, is this: Before, he was complaining, and confessing his departures from Christ; now, he is joyful, and sweetly resting in Christ: before, when he was happy, he was fearful he should lose his happiness; now, he is very happy, and has no fear of losing it. The very steps by which he has reached this state show him how to retain it.

"There is no change in his doctrines or opinions--his sentiments were never dearer to him. The difference is in his faith--he has let go of all but Jesus, and relies on him alone for peace and rest, and is not disappointed.

"Reader, are you sweetly resting in Christ by faith? If so, make an effort to lead all around you there; but if not, let me urge you, at once, without dismissing the subject from your thoughts, to give yourself to the Savior anew, and do not cease your importunity until you are filled with all the fullness of his love.

"You then are just prepared to grow in divine things. The roots of your faith can strike deep into the soil of truth and love, and need not be disturbed again until transplanted into heavenly soil, there to continue to grow and flourish in the garden of the Lord.

"'Then shall I see, and hear, and know,
All I desire or wish below,
And every power find sweet employ
In that eternal world of joy.'"